Love / Longing
12/23/2025
I watched Moonrise Kingdom the other night and it made me feel lonely. Don't get me wrong it is a beautiful movie and I would watch it again but with the position I'm in I couldn't shake the feeling of absolute loneliness. I am not one to be lonely, or awkward enough to not have the chance of anything, I just have been given bad cards. Or... Um. Well. More like the cards that where delt to me where doused in lighter fluid and someone flicked their cigarettes at my deck. Poor analogy but I jest.
I just miss being in a relationship and having someone love me. I do not wish for the intensity the last one presented to me but I just want someone in that regard, you know? I miss having a significant other I think I'm one of those people that just don't feel complete without someone. That isn't to say I am no one without someone with me, that is never the case. I know who I am even if I don't particularly like myself all the time, I solely long for someone similar.
Speaking of, I am fond of someone in my social circle. Moreover, he is interested in a lot of things I also am into. I don't think it will ever go anywhere, nor will I ever try to push something, but it's nice to think about. I am just fearful to say anything, I have never really been good at being that person anyways. If I ever think it's a good idea though I may try. I am incredibly infatuated by him and how he carries himself as well as how he articulates himself.
Anywho... I might rewatch that movie. It makes me specifcally miss having a girlfriend in particular but, like I said, It's a cute movie nonetheless and regardless of the sorrow it may bring I still feel some sort of happiness watching it. I'm not THAT sad of a person.
Side note I am struggling to fit anywhere in there; Even though I think It might be best to move on I struggle. It's not stubborness, I think It's moreso the emotions I feel being too strong. I have felt this way for awhile now with no sign of it changing, not up nor down. Just a thought.